Is it fair for my parents to get mad at me for not washing dishes, even though I do wash the ones I use?

Many teenagers and young adults often find themselves in a situation where they feel their parents are being unfair to them. One such common scenario is the issue of washing dishes. You might be one of those who wash the dishes you use, but your parents still get mad at you for not washing the other dishes. Is this fair? To answer this question, we need to consider several factors, including the concept of shared responsibilities, understanding parents’ perspectives, and effective communication.

Understanding Shared Responsibilities

Living in a family means sharing responsibilities. This includes chores like washing dishes. Even if you wash the dishes you use, there might be other dishes used for cooking or by other family members. If everyone only washed their own dishes, it could lead to a pile-up of unwashed dishes. This is why many parents expect their children to contribute more broadly to household chores.

Parents’ Perspective

Parents often have a broader view of household management. They might be considering factors like the overall cleanliness of the house, the effort it takes to cook meals, and the importance of everyone contributing to household chores. From their perspective, it’s not just about washing the dishes you use, but about contributing to the overall functioning of the household.

Effective Communication

Often, misunderstandings and conflicts arise from a lack of effective communication. If you feel that your parents are being unfair, it might be helpful to have a calm and open discussion with them. Explain your perspective and listen to theirs. You might find that there’s a misunderstanding that can be cleared up, or you might reach a compromise that works for everyone.

Is It Fair?

So, is it fair for your parents to get mad at you for not washing dishes, even though you do wash the ones you use? The answer depends on the specific dynamics of your family. However, it’s important to remember that living in a family often means going beyond just taking care of your own needs. It involves contributing to the overall well-being of the household. If your parents are getting mad, it might be a sign that they feel you’re not contributing enough. In this case, it might be helpful to have a discussion about shared responsibilities and find a solution that works for everyone.


In conclusion, while it might seem unfair at first glance, there are often underlying reasons why parents expect their children to contribute more to household chores. By understanding these reasons and communicating effectively, it’s possible to find a solution that feels fair to everyone.